A Journey of my Life : From Childhood Struggles to Academic Success - Reflecting on My 25 Years of Life | Atul Chakma

"A Journey of My Life : From Childhood Struggles to Academic Success - Reflecting on My 25 Years of Life"

By Atul Chakma 

              ( Art by Tufan Artbin) 

I have been active on social media for 13 years now. In my friend list, there are many intellectuals, leaders, teachers, and friends etc from many places . I often share my thoughts on Facebook. While many people express curiosity about me and wish to talk, I always refrain from sharing personal information such as my phone number, address,profession etc . Only 2% out of the 100% in my friend and followers list know details about me, while the rest know me only by name. Therefore, today on the occasion of my 25th Birthday "Silver Jubilee of my Life" I have decided to share my life journey (which I've kept hidden within myself) and express gratitude to all who have always stood by my side.

MY PARENTS AND FAMILY, CHILDHOOD

On 9th April in Arunachal Pradesh , I took birth in simple family, farmer by profession, despite being poor, parents managed to fulfill all my needs.Since my childhood I have gone through up and down but I always overcome from all the challenges, finding solutions and feeling fortunate. During 2000-2010, our lives were filled with struggles—family problems, lots of debts with high interest rates, even our precious possessions like gold and silver were mortgaged. I witnessed the pain in my dad's eyes, his sleepless nights filled with worry about our family's well-being, releasing long sighs as he gazed at the sky. We endured empty stomachs, lacking even the most basic necessities.

Lots of ups and downs in our lives , but our parents never gave up on our studies and caring. Grandparents were victims of 1947 Partition, In 1964 came to India as migrants and started their families with nothing. Dad lost his mom when he was five, and my mother's dad was robbed while going to rejoin the Sima Suraksha Bal-SSB, so he failed to rejoin due to lack of documents and transportation fare. My dad is a class 2 dropout, while mom completed grade 5 . As the eldest children in their families, they had to prioritize family responsibilities over their education, but they understood the value of it. Mom mentored and taught us in the early stages, ensuring our basic education. Dad would order English grammar books through courier, emphasizing the importance of being proficient in Hindi and English. ( Until now, no one in either side of our extended family has graduated. I'm first Post Graduate from our family and first Advocate our from Village, highlighting the significance of our parents' dedication to our education) . 

During my childhood I saw tension in Papa's eyes but never saw him cry. I still remember the moments when our younger sister, Rashika was the most lovable and beautiful in our family. We all raised her nicely, and Mom didn't need to worry about her as all of us siblings took care of her. We even washed her dirty clothes. She was suffering from an unknown disease  at the age of 3 . We had no money to take her to the hospital, so we treated her with homemade medicine suggested by a physician.My parents, grandparents were just waiting for her death because they didn't want to see her suffer. I still remember those words of mom : "Rashika, if you want to live, then get healthy as soon as possible, or die as soon as possible. I can't bear to see you suffer anymore." When she passed away, we cried a lot, but Dad held back his tears. In the last moments, I saw a tear in his eyes.

CHILDHOOD STRUGGLE and EDUCATION

In 2006, there was a flood, causing us to lose almost everything—crops, rice, and more. Our parents had to leave the village and went to the jungle for farming. The four of us siblings lived alone at home, managing everything ourselves -from gathering wood and water to cooking and going to school, self studies etc . Our home was near the road, and we faced challenges such as encounters with vagabond boys who sometimes beat us. At times, we siblings fought amongst ourselves with no one to intervene. Papa used to come once every 15 days, bringing essential supplies before leaving again for weeks, months. During those years, including the following one, we all failed in all subject for two years. ( I was in class three ) . 

Many people suggested or asked my dad to send us into child labor, thinking it might help with our livelihood, offering little earning potential. They argued there was no profit in sending us to school, especially as Chakma origins due to lack of documents and discrimination within Arunachal Pradesh . However, my parents refused this options. They took loans with interest to re-enroll us in school. At that time, I decided to work hard and study. In 2007, the government decided to conduct a re-examination, and I passed. In class 4, I held the 4th position, and in 5th class, I secured the first position. While my classmates attended extra tuition classes, we never had the opportunity due to financial constraints. 

Seasonal farming was insufficient for our livelihood and family expenses, so my father sought work in the forest as a contract laborer, engaging in tasks such as log cutting and forest cleaning under boss . This work often lacked basic amenities, with no access to water or sunlight in forest . Many times,he had to drink dirty water out of necessity and went without food. He also faced dangers such as encounters with elephants, bears, and tigers. Once, my father almost died in an accident and had to jump from a tree. It's difficult to articulate the extent of his hard work and sacrifices for our family.

Later my parents dedicated to go to forest and do farming and elder brother Bitul da also had to assist our parents on the farm. Despite this, he was admitted to a school that was nearly 15  km away from the farm. He would wake up early, work on the farm, and then walk to school without shoes on the rocky road. He often brought all the necessary goods for us by crossing 7 rivers , arriving at night and waiting until sunset to avoid being seen in a poor condition with a broken cycle and dirty clothes, jacket. Perhaps he felt disheartened upon seeing his friends in good dress and well-off conditions on their way to school.

In the village, I had lots of good friends with whom I used to fishing, search for honey in forest , and roam the forest for hunting. We even sold forest vegetables to support our families. Working as a daily wage laborer, earning ₹2, ₹5, or ₹10 per day, with ₹20 being a high payment for me, I toiled tirelessly to support my family and fulfill our basic needs.

Often, I would buy cheapest ( second-hand) clothes for my school dress and my parents from the weekly market. At that time, I didn't realize that these clothes were previously worn by others. We lacked proper attire, shoes, cycles, pens, and even new textbooks. Having good notebooks under 15-25 rupees and owning a cello pen for 5 rupees, or a pair of ₹50 Burmese chappal, was a distant dream.My teachers knew, and they still remember, that we were among the dullest and dirtiest students in school. 

While our parents lived in the jungle for farming, we children stayed at home. During our school days, there was a constant fear of child traffickers, causing anxiety for many in the community as there were no elders or nearby homes to protect us. To create an illusion of occupancy and deter potential intruders, we placed multiple pairs of old sandals and slippers on the stairs. Our home lacked proper walls and doors for security, forcing us to sleep with a sense of vigilance, often clutching a sword for protection. During heavy rains, water would seep in from all sides, adding to the challenges of living in a dilapidated structure. Managing a wooden fire during cyclones and rain was a constant fear, as the risk of the home catching fire loomed large. Sibling fights were common, and we often faced violence from others. Being poor, we received little respect in the village. If we wanted to watch TV at someone else's home, we had to work for them, and many times, we were turned away or asked to leave. Our family rarely received invitations to community events or programs.

Parents were always concerned about our studies and constantly searched for opportunities to send us out of the village. Somehow, my brother got the opportunity to study in Kushinagar, Uttar Pradesh in 2008. However, he struggled alone there, facing a lack of basic facilities and schools. Eventually, he ran away from that place and sought refuge in a Myanmar Temple in Kushinagar, where the head monk ( Bhadant Gyaneshwar ) agreed to sponsor him with minimal facilities. He was very supportive of education and had sympathy for Chakmas. 

FAMILY RESPONSIBILITIES

When my elder brother went to Kushinagar, the responsibility of managing everything fell on me and my two siblings as we lived alone at home. Since it wasn't feasible for my dad to leave my mom alone in the forest to bring goods for us, I had to shoulder the burden of carrying all the necessary items. Despite not being proficient in riding the 24-inch Hero Bicycle, I had to make do with it. I had to walk almost 15-20 km from home to the farm alone, crossing seven rivers, two of which were large. Since there was no boat fare available, I had to cross the rivers while carrying the cycle on my shoulder along with other goods. Sometimes, I had to dismount as I couldn't push the cycle uphill on the narrow mountainous types road.

Despite the risks involved, I had no fear in the forest or while crossing rivers due to my family responsibilities. Sometimes, encounters with vagabond individuals led to fights and altercations.Sometimes it wasn't possible to return home due to heavy rains and flooded rivers. During such times, my two younger brothers and sister had to stay at home, cooking and managing everything themselves.

There were also instances when one person had to stay alone at home for several days, either while helping our parents on the farm or when fetching essential supplies like oil, salt, and medicines for them. In 2010, I fell severely ill when no one was at home. There were no medicines, and I had no means to call for help as there was nobody nearby. I became extremely weak and felt like death was imminent. Fortunately, my dad returned home after 15 days and found me in a critical condition. He stayed with me for 3-4 days until I recovered, alleviating my mom's worries because my dad was about to return at evening.However, she remained tense due to the communal disturbances happening at night while my dad was away.

MY JOURNEY TO KUSHINAGAR , UP

In 2011 ,After completing middle school from an English government school, I also desired to go to Kushinagar. However, my elder brother initially refused to take me with him due to the hardships he experienced. Eventually, our parents insisted he bring me along. At the age of 12, I saw a train for the first time in my life. The sight of the bustling crowds, towering buildings, and Pakka Road was like a dream come true for me. 

Upon arriving in Kushinagar, I enrolled in a Hindi medium school. I was extremely happy because, for the first time in my life, I received a school identity card and would be seated in a well-furnished classroom in a three-story building school, even getting to touch a computer for the first time. But adapting full hindi medium was challenging, taking nearly 8-9 months to grasp properly. Despite the difficulties, I managed. Mornings were bitterly cold, and often I had to wake early to clean three Floors guesthouse and many rooms . Sometimes, I had to bathe the buffaloes, clean their dung, graze them, and work in the flower garden.Hard work hepls me to be strong physically and mentally. The owner provided basic necessities like accommodation, food and covered my school fees at ₹60 per month. Basic facilities were lacking, mosquitoes were rampant, and clean water ,fan was scarce. Despite these challenges, I remained content, focusing on my studies. I didn't burden my family or brother, who lived nearby (2km), with my struggles. Eventually, I successfully passed 9th and 10th grade with good marks. Later on I decided to leave Kushinagar as soon as possible due to many reasons. I'm thankful to guesthouse owner ( we used to call him guru ji) for providing accommodation, foods and schools fees. 

Fortunately, I met a monk Bhadant Dhammasarathi ji from Maharashtra whom I served, took care of, and helped to visit Buddhist holy places in Kushinagar. Impressed by my behavior and knowledge, he offered to sponsor my education in Maharashtra. Without hesitation, I agreed, realizing that completing further education in Kushinagar would be nearly impossible. Moreover, returning to my village posed the risk of falling into bad company. After passing 10th grade, I traveled alone by train, despite having no prior experience or knowledge about reservations, seating, or stations, but I safely reached my destination.

After 2013, our family's financial conditions improved, able to support us due to the six to seven years of hard work by our parents. We paid off all debts, which previously required using all our seasonal earnings, followed by taking out another loan for family expenses. Often, lenders took advantage of our parents' situation, demanding higher interest rates. I remember an incident when a missionary visited our home and offered free boarding school facilities, assuring that all expenses would be covered by their institution for our education. However, the condition was that we had to convert to their religion . My father firmly refused the offer and warned the missionary not to make such offers again. My mother recounted another incident of 2000 where a wealthy individual, impressed by my peaceful nature, offered a large sum of money to purchase me since he had no children of his own. He proposed to educate me and improve my life, claiming that the money would also benefit my family. These instances highlight how people tried to exploit our vulnerable situation for their own gain.

MY LIFE IN MAHARASHTRA

In 2014, coming to Maharashtra was a turning point in my life. When I arrived in Maharashtra, adjusting to the environment and food was challenging, and I also faced documentation problems. My admission was nearly canceled due to a lack of documents, particularly the migration certificate, which the UP board doesn't issue. Convincing the Maharashtra Board was difficult. I tried persistently but became frustrated and contemplated returning to Kushinagar or my hometown without a plan. I even wrote a letter and placed it between my books, intending to run away without informing my sponsor. However, I ultimately decided to stay and went back to Kushinagar to complete my documentation. With the help of the school president, Dinesh Yadav ji, who went to Lucknow, we obtained a letter from the Board Office stating that the district education officer's signature is equivalent to a migration certificate.

Immersing myself in the literature of Dr. Ambedkar and Buddha, I began to understand the value of education and rational thinking. Despite the challenge of transitioning from Hindi to English medium, I managed to secure admission to a reputable college based on my excellent 10th-grade marks. Surrounded by supportive friends, seniors, and teachers, I excelled academically, scoring 89% in my twelfth-grade exams and as subject topper in university being nominated for a gold medal. Also got awards from various institutions. Although I aspired to pursue a BA LLB, I faced admission hurdles due to ignorance about the entrance test, which was newly introduced by the government. Nevertheless, I completed my BA and delved into exploring my identity, history, and origins, diving into books on Chakmas and Buddhism. 

Actively engaging on Facebook, I began writing and gained a following from across Myanmar, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and India, particularly among the Buddhist and Chakma communities. Establishing Facebook groups, I aimed to unite Chakmas and share global Chakma news.

I was active on social media but serious about my studies. I had to prepare for my BA final exam along with the LLB entrance test. Immediately after completing my BA exam,same day I had to sit for the LLB entrance test. Somehow, I managed to pass BA with a good percentage along with the LLB entrance exam. I got admission to a good law college on my first attempt. Alumni included Vice Presidents, Attorneys General, Chief Justices of the Supreme Court, Central Ministers, and Chief Ministers from this college. I didn't have to pay additional fees or donations for admission because I scored well in the entrance test. I simultaneously enrolled in an MA program and completed my MA in Political Science before completing LLB. Additionally, I completed multiple diplomas and certificate courses.

2020-2022 , During the pandemic, I utilized the ample time by enrolling in multiple certificate courses one after the other. I appeared for over 30 written exams during the lockdown period. Unlike other universities, ours didn't promote us, so I had to take the exams even during the lockdown.Lockdown was challenging for me as I saw pandemic situation,also lose a friend who was very close to me, we never met but were too close like family member . Despite counseling and helping many people overcome anxiety and depression, motivating myself was difficult as I was alone with no one to talk to but haven't share anything with anyone. However, I didn't lose focus on my studies. To distract myself, I enrolled in multiple courses. Nonetheless, I passed all of them. I had two opportunities for placements and studying or working abroad with a scholarship, but I declined as I was focused on studying law. During my free time, I started creating videos on Buddhism, Chakma history, culture, etc., for my YouTube and Facebook pages. Now, I'm earning little bit from these channels and have gained recognition, even though many haven't met me personally but know me for my work and can easily recognize my voice.

After completing LLB and MA, I appeared test for LLM and secured a seat . Consequently, I obtained a seat with minimal fees and enrolled in LLM along with MSW from an open university. Despite getting job offers, I declined them to focus on my studies. In LLM, I delved into detailed concepts like case laws, interpretation, rule of law, and the basic structure etc of the Constitution. Both my MSW and LLM are nearing completion, promising a bright future. I'm proud to say that I hold two bachelor's degrees, three master's degrees ( three professional courses), and multiple diplomas and certificates in various subjects, totaling over 20 credentials.All of this may seem commonplace for many, but for me, it holds great significance. It represents the journey of those who come from marginalized communities, remote areas, and challenging family backgrounds.

All of this happened because of my parents, their unwavering support, and my hard work. I'm grateful to my parents, Buddhism, teachers, friends, and especially to the Maharashtrian monk Bhadant Dhamma Sharti ji, who illuminated my path and guided my life. Without their support, I wouldn't have been able to complete my education. If they hadn't extended their hand, I might have been married with 2 or 3 children, working as a laborer or farmer. 

In between, I gained many followers, recognition, close friends and also lost precious friends too . We used to talk and had a strong bond for a long time. That friend was special to me, and we had many plans for the future to work together after my education, but unfortunately, they didn't materialize. We taught each other, learned many things, and shared joys and sorrows. The lessons, memories, and pictures will remain with me forever. Once a friend, always a friend. I haven't visited home since 2016 due to a lack of vacation time. The journey takes 6-7 days by train round trip. As a student attending both a regular college and an open university, I haven't had enough time to visit home due to the continuous burden of examinations. While I do miss my parents, village, friends, and favorite foods at times, I see this sacrifice as an investment in my future success.While most of my childhood friends have settled into married life and mingle, I remain single with no ex because my love and focus is for my dedication, studies and books still consumes me. Now, I have supportive friends with whom I can share my opinions, feelings, and future plans without hesitation. My circle of friends is small, but meaningful. In last , I can say that I am nearly successful in my life and eagerly await a bright future. Thanks to Buddha and Buddhism, Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar his follower's , my parents, and the monk for their sacrifices and contributions.

CONCLUSION 

In conclusion, as I celebrate my 25th birthday, I want to express my gratitude to everyone who has been a part of my journey. From the struggles and sacrifices of my parents to the guidance of teachers and the support of friends, each person has played a significant role in shaping my life. Despite facing numerous challenges, I have persevered with determination and dedication, never losing sight of my goals. My journey from a small village to Maharashtra has been filled with obstacles, but each hurdle has only strengthened my resolve to succeed. As I look towards the future, I am filled with optimism and excitement for what lies ahead. I am grateful for every experience, both the joys and the hardships, as they have all contributed to making me who I am today. Thank you to everyone who has been a part of my journey, and here's to many more years of growth, learning, and success.